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Soulmate or Playmate? Which One Are You?

"From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven, and when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, the streams of light flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from that united being"

- Baal Shem Tov (18th Century Jewish Mystical Rabbi)

Kabbalah teaches that forty days before you were conceived, your match was declared in Shamayim (Heaven). Until you join together, your souls long for each other. If this is true, why is it so hard to find The One? Or even to stay in a relationship for any meaningful length of time?

Because our soul is in a body with all its distractions and makes us forget why we are here. Our ego’s needs are transitory and empty, like zero calories that leave you hungry and wanting more, creating a vicious cycle.

As such, we often put ourselves in situations with others without considering our intentions or integrating our hearts and minds, thereby causing entanglements. The current lack of boundaries in modern culture has degenerated into such a state that we lend greater consideration to our social media status than whom we share our most intimate self. Time to reframe the mindset and refocus our priorities to what is lasting.

A soul mate is a connection based on the spiritual level. By focusing on developing your intuition, which is the language of the soul, you will begin to relate to others on a higher level, which will help to align you to your other half.

Do’s and Don’ts for Attracting Your Soul Mate

- Require that you be treated with respect and dignity. So act in an appropriate manner. Which leads us to the next point.

- Women often feel that they must meet the male at his level. This is absolutely incorrect. Oftentimes, a female soul will incarnate to help elevate her male counterpart, so it is essential that she maintains her integrity. If you love yourself and THINK you love him too. GROW THAT SELF ESTEEM and refrain from joining him on the floor.

- If a woman continuously dates a man she knows won’t commit, she is enabling him to stay emotionally and spiritually stunted! Give it a shelf life! Don't keep yourself in the fridge past a sell by date! Some people make great friends but are not marriage material because they choose to be that way. Don't take that on and try to change them! Use the extra energy elsewhere!

- If you want a soulmate, know that you will not find one by focusing on what they will give you. It's not about the loot. You are not a pirate!

Instead, prioritize what it would mean to build a life together with all its ups and downs.

Now let's get to the nitty gritty...

Characterization of a Playmate

Its not difficult to distinguish when you are in a positive, beneficial relationship or entangled in downward spiral. Ask yourself these questions. More than one yes and it's time to get out.

1. Do they distract you from your authentic purpose?

2. Do you share mostly hedonistic experiences?

3. Does being together create chaos in your life?

4. Is their main attraction for you physical?

5. Are they involved with others simultaneously?

6. Was your meeting willful or egocentric in nature?

7. Is there any meaningful spiritual growth?

8. If this relationship remains as it is for the next five, ten years, will you be fulfilled?

9. Do you meet in secret or feel the need to conceal the relationship from others?

Characterization of a Soul Mate

While reading the list above, compare these points to a past or present romantic endeavor to help determine your patterns and choices in partners

- A soul mate, more than likely, is a person you least expect. Your soul mate helps to complete your soul and will match your personality and spirit in ways you might not have anticipated or prepared for.

- Although your backgrounds, personalities, tastes and hobbies may be dissimilar, the core values remain congruent. A soul mate will attract meaningful experiences to each other while benefiting the community and beyond at large.

- With a soul mate, any challenges in the relationship will lead you to grow into your authentic self. Your soul mate does not join you when you are swimming in the mud. Instead kicks your tuchas (your butt) so you can be the man or woman you were meant to become.

- You will respect and trust one another to commit to keep the bond sacred. If mistakes are made, you work on repairing them. Soulmates are not iphones to trade in for newer models.

- Soul mates will have at least one significant challenge which is a hidden blessing to help them grow.

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